The Masculine, The Feminine, and The In-Between

  A deep part of who we are, how we define ourselves, is defined by our gender. Gender is sometimes synonymous with our sex, either male or female, but it is also defined by how we see ourselves, how we feel, and in this sense there are many more than two options. The number of genders varies in various languages from 2 to 20, a reflection of the fact that there are many of us who do not define ourselves in black and white terms. Even a cursory study of human sexuality will reveal that we as a species simply do not experience gender exclusively in this way, and when we try to define it as such, it should be obvious that we miss a large part of the picture. Studying psychology and sociology has made it very clear to me that rather than a dichotomy, our gender identities exist on a continuum, and while there are some who see themselves as existing on one end of this continuum or the other, a great many of us fall somewhere in between. I have of course known my share of those who define themselves as exclusively heterosexual, but I have also known many others that do not: typically “straight” people who occasionally enjoy experimentation or even relationships with the same gender, fluid bisexuals, those who have exclusively same-sex relationships, transgendered, transsexual, people who have changed how they define themselves over time...the list goes on and on, with the types of relationships and gender definitions varying both from person to person and culture to culture. The idea of black-and-white gender identity is as antiquated as black-and-white television.

  Historically, in many western cultures, those individuals who did not fit into traditional gender roles have been shoe-horned into one, or marginalized, existing in somewhat isolated enclaves. This is partly to escape the gender stereotyping that habitually happens in society at large, and partly because of the human desire to be around those who understand us, and share in our experiences. Because of this, many societies have developed under the erroneous impression that “non-traditional” gender identities don't really exist (this is certainly a predominant mentality here in Japan), or that they represent only a tiny fraction of the population, who needn't be recognized. I can say with confidence that if one takes into account all non-traditional gender definitions, their percentage of the population rises well into double digits.

  Some societies, rather than ignore or persecute this portion of their population, have chosen to recognize and even appreciate them. A well-known example are the Fa'afafine of Polynesia, who are biologically male, but dress and behave in a manner considered typically female. They are considered a third gender, and suffer no societal stigma whatsoever. They often serve important roles within their families, helping take care of children and sharing in other household responsibilities. The existence of such cultures serve as a strong counter-argument to any who would claim that accepting sexual diversity is somehow corrosive to the fabric of society as whole.

  Western culture is now coming to terms with the reality of alternative gender identities, and has made great leaps over the past few decades, but there is still much to be done. Recognition is one thing, and this has certainly occurred at record pace, but full equality is the only way to ensure that everyone can fully contribute to society. Whenever it happens, equal rights enrich societies in countless ways, as we have seen first in the struggle for women's rights, and later in the struggle for racial equality. A balanced playing field ensures that societies can work together more cohesively, that time and resources aren't wasted on scapegoating and persecution, and that everyone has the same opportunities to improve both themselves and the community in which they live. Today, many forms of discrimination are still legal both in the West and in other parts of the world, and it is time to grow out of this pointless, wasteful and distasteful habit.

  In my generation, I realize that I am largely preaching to the converted. Exposure to alternative genders in the media has washed away so much of the ignorance that used to exist, it really has changed the way we think. So much of the prejudice that used to exist was simply due to many people not knowing anyone who defined themselves outside of stereotypical gender roles, but now, people recognize that they are our brothers, our sisters, our neighbours, our friends. They are part of our families. They are just like anyone else in all the ways that really matter. I am confident that we will discard these old prejudices just as we have discarded so many others, and be better for it. My own experiences tell me that parents are learning from their children in this instance, and that a broader definition of love is beginning to cross over generational lines. In some places, the vast majority already fully supports equality, and wonders why we bother quibbling over the issue when there are so many more important matters to deal with. I am confident that with a little hard work, this attitude can spread.

  Is this all part of the “gay agenda”? In a word, no. To call it that is to misunderstand it. This is a civil rights movement, no different than any other. Homosexuals (or any other gender minority, for that matter) do not have a plan to indoctrinate young people, or exert control over other people's lives – that's religion you're thinking of. For a long time the majority of people's prejudice against alternative gender identities sprang from religious doctrines, and where prejudice is still found today, it is reliably in places that are highly religious. Thankfully, there is a new wave of reason taking hold, even in places where there was previously little hope of independent, rational thought on such a topic. With increasingly free access to information, people can hear both sides of the argument, and make more informed decisions. They see beyond what they are told to believe, and use their own judgement, which, rather unsurprisingly to me, generally leads them toward basic human compassion and understanding. There will always be those who look to blame others for their problems, or to attack what they don't understand, but now the world can see this for the ugliness that it is, and for the suffering that it causes. As a species, we are growing, we are opening our eyes, and learning to see just how beautiful and diverse the world can be when you can see in more than just black and white.